What can make a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't imply that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first our children second. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a terrific parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
They are not all that simple or fast.
And probably nobody can do them all the time.
Even though some of these might not be 100 % successful, you'll be in a position to move forward using the tips in this parenting guide.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part because we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
Thus, function as the individual you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Show your love.
There is no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the title of love may - things like material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over-protection. When these things are provided in place of love that is real, that is when you'll have a spoiled child.
Loving the child of yours may be as simple as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love can cause the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a deep feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and also not to point out a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, especially in the beginning years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they will not have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Give them positive attention. Drive with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it appears to be hard to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what is right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind whenever you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a positive way, instead of to get punished for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting the child of yours know that you'll remain there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents who are consistently responsive have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, and emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child as well as your kid may come for you when there's a problem.
But there is another reason behind communication. You help your child integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work in concert to have a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. https://parentinghowto.com/ Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You don't have to provide solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to become an excellent parent. Simply paying attention to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even those who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might wish to change some elements of the way they had been brought up.
But very often, when we open our mouths, we speak the same as the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Do not give up if you do not succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including your own needs or maybe the overall health of your marriage are placed on the back burner when a child is born. If you do not pay attention to them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with the spouse of yours.
Stressed-out parents are more vulnerable to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make an impact in their parenting and family life. If these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Don't SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to result in short-term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method doesn't teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to avoid getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or hit is much more prone to fighting with other children. They're much more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also far more apt to lead to oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent child relationships, mental health issues, along with domestic violence victims or even abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline that have been proven to be more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is the goal of yours in raising a kid?
When you are like most parents, you want your child to do well in college, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or your child.
Rather, look for ways to switch each bad experience right into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what is currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and info which are backed by science, here is among my personal favorite science-based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Making use of medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every kid is different. Even within the very best parenting style, there can be many different good parenting methods you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. You will find numerous better alternatives, e.g. redirection, reasoning, time-in, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Naturally, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. But it does not imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It might require much more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of agony and time in the long run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good point is, that although parenting is hard, it's additionally very rewarding. The bad part will be the rewards usually come much later than the effort. But if we try our best now, we'll eventually reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!